Member-only story
The World Treats Skinny People Better
My Life-Long Journey With Losing and Gaining Weight
It all started when I was 5 years old. I am of English/Ukrainian/Italian heritage. There are overweight and skinny people in my family. I go more toward the heavy side.
And my mom noticed. This is back in the early 1980s. My mom would put on an exercise tv show and encourage me to do jumping jacks or sit-ups. I was taught from a young age to hate my body and that fat was bad.
My mom also restricted my sugar intake, a lot. I naturally have a heart-shaped face but to her, it was fat. Everyone in her family was thin and she did not want a fat daughter.
So from baking me a birthday cake with no frosting, to giving me a big Easter basket and then freezing the chocolate so I couldn’t eat it, she was cruel. She would have sweets all over the house, tucked into the highest cupboards for her and the rest of the family, but none for me.
I got skinnier and skinnier, mostly because of riding my bike and playing outside, not from her calorie restrictions. My sister inherited the skinny genes. She never really had to diet and my mom never put her on a diet.
THE WEIGHT GOES UP
Years ago by, lots of family issues, and my weight started going up and down in college. By now, I was on my own financially and not under my mom’s thumb. We were always praised for being skinny but when weight crept on, it was clear we were looked down on.
In my 20’s, I was diagnosed with PCOS, after my son was born. And that’s when the 100 lbs. just started piling on quickly. It seemed there was nothing I could do to stop it. Metformin and calorie restriction didn’t seem to stop it. I spent 20 years struggling with my weight.
I’M NOW INVISIBLE TO SOCIETY
Mentally, it took a big toll. From being skinny for the first 25 years of my life, it was obvious how society now looked at me. Women as they get older, become invisible. I became invisible in my early 30’s. Being fat instantly put me in a different category of human to many people.
I was now a person who was:
