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Poverty Turns People Into Liars
It is hard to be honest when you are trying to survive.
I recently read the NY Times Guest Essay “How To Become a Pathological Liar”.
If I ever thought of these as lies, I soon came to see them as part of the etiquette of poverty — a means of getting by for the poor and also a gift we give to the rich, a practice that lets us avoid talking about the uncomfortable differences between us. Over time, it becomes second nature.
It resonated a lot with me. It reminded me of my sister and I trying to survive in the 1980s and '90s.
We grew up in a low-to mid-class neighborhood. We were at the low end of the neighborhood. And the kids in the neighborhood made sure we never forgot.
Like the author, as I got older, my behavior changed as well.
But my behavior did change. Like many poor people, we were subject to the uncertainty and chaos that comes with a lifetime of bad jobs and worse landlords, and we moved often. The next time we moved, I was careful not to let any of my friends find out where I lived. When someone else’s parents took me home from a sleepover or sporting event, I’d give them directions to a nicer house in a nicer neighborhood, then walk home after they drove away. Sometimes many miles. Instead of a string of low-wage jobs, my mother had a career, and…
