Member-only story
4 Ways To Spot Someone Who Is Using You For Social Currency
Recently I wrote about red flag people who will take your money, stuff, and time from you. Well, this article is a little different. This is about those who use others just for social currency.
I will start this story back many years ago. I had just won the school talent show with my rendition of “My Boyfriend’s Back” with my friends. I was a ham back then and I guess I still am.
So I was in 4th grade and just as confident as anything. But even at that age, there were bullies in class. I avoided them like the plague. But after I won the talent show, I also won a pizza party. The teacher ordered pizza and I took home the leftovers.
The kids, even the brazen bullies, followed me out of the school, asking for pizza. Even at that age, they were pretending to be nice to get something.
And even at age 9, I knew what they were doing. I told them no and kept walking. My family and I enjoyed the pizza that night.
But it showed me that some people will go to any length to use others. Here are more signs:
Your Good News Is Their Gain
Your good news is their gain. I know that makes no sense. I recently got very good career news, like life-changing. I texted a few in my inner circle because I didn’t want to go public with it yet. Only one of them texted back congrats. I found out later the others had told their friends about my good news, using me as their social currency to make themselves look better. And it sucked. I no longer wanted to tell this person good or bad news because they would just use it. And never respond to me.
It’s been two weeks and they still haven’t said congrats. But they will use my information to make themselves look better.
I Will Be Nice To You Until You Do What I Say and Then I Drop You
This is an especially harmful way of using others. My cousin needed a bridesmaid many years ago and asked me. I was fine with it and I thought it was nice she was including me. For years before, she superficially communicated with me and even then hardly ever responded to texts or emails.
