10+ Signs Someone You Know Is Secretly Living a Miserable Life

6 min readDec 7, 2023
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So many people are good at hiding their misery. But there are some telltale signs of how they actually feel.

One of my friends 45 year old Becca always had a sunny disposition. But I know her better than that. And being able to read people well, I know she is struggling with depression.

However, to see her at the holiday party recently, you would never know how unhappy she is. A little background: in the past year, her husband cheated on her and then left her for a much younger woman, leaving her a single mom of two kids. She had previously been a stay-at-home mom and now had to get a full-time job. She also gained a lot of weight during the end of their marriage and is having no luck on dating apps.

But she is still suffering from toxic positivity- and a bad case of it! If you asked her, nothing was wrong and everything was wonderful. Her parents taught her to always keep a stiff upper lip and never reveal her true feelings.


Becca tends to have a biting sense of humor. You know the kind of person who spits out an insult and then says “Just joking!”. Yeah, that is her. She can be very passive-aggressive. She gets more aggressive when she is jealous of someone. Becca is especially jealous of another woman in our friend group, who has her life together. They no longer speak because of Becca’s insults and snide comments.


They tend not to practice a lot of self care. Most of the time, they seem like they are just hanging on by a thread. As I mentioned before, Becca let herself go and gained over 50 lbs. as her marriage disappeared. She then stopped getting her hair cut and styled and her nails done. She kind of just let a lot of the standards she used to follow, slip by the wayside. She also stopped going to get her teeth cleaned and even neglected her healthcare check-ups.




New England born- now living in the Midwest. Blogger, author, influencer, history addict and genealogist in training